Wednesday, December 19, 2007

A RANT

I'M ANGRY TODAY:
FOR ALL OF THE THINGS THIS "DEBACLE" OF A DISEASE HAS TAKEN FROM ME:

MY ABILITY TO BUTTON MY FREAKIN' PANTS-IT TOOK ME 18 TRIES-BUT I GOT IT
MY ABILITY TO HAVE REGULAR LIFE
MY ABILITY TO HAVE A FAMILY
MY ABILITY TO BE GREAT AT SOMETHING AGAIN
MY ABILITY TO BELIEVE IN GOD AT THE MOMENT-HOW I LET GO AND LET GOD YESTERDAY -- I'M THINKING WHY-WHY ME-WHY THIS DISEASE-WHY IF I'M GOING TO DIE-JUST MAKE IT QUICK-INSTEAD I'M GOING TO MELT AWAY-SLOWLY
MY ABILITY TO SPEAK CLEARLY
MY ABILITY TO RUN-CATCH-SKATE-PLAY-EVEN WALKING FAST IS A CHALLENGE
MY ABILITY TO BELIEVE AT THIS MOMENT I WILL BE OKAY

THIS IS BULLSHIT ON THE GRANDEST OF SCALES THAT ANYONE HAS TO GO THROUGH THIS.
I'N ANGRY AT THE MOMENT-SORRY-TOMORROW I COULD BE HAPPY-THIS DISEASE IS LIKE HAVING MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES!! I HAVE MY ANGRY FACE ON AT THE MOMENT.
LOVE YA,
DREW
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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I believe you are great at something, inspiring all of us to rise up and live our lives to the fullest, no matter what is thrown our way. I also believe you are probably great at being a son and a brother and friend, keep the faith and keep on believing.

December 20, 2007 at 1:56 AM
Anonymous said...

My wife of 46 years is going through all of what you've expressed and still has to face more, your words help me come to terms with this awful disease and what it does to good people like yourself. Iknow that at some time something magic will happen, and we are determined to be around when that happens and we want you to be there to celibrate with us.
We have a mutual friend in Jody,and as you know her mum is back in China for more treatment. Things are going well at the moment.
We wish for you Drew all that you wish for yourself and all those who are suffering in similar circumstances.
Keep blogging and we'll keep commenting.
All the best for the xmas season and new year
Mike & Shelagh

December 20, 2007 at 7:03 AM
Mikey said...

Dude,
You amaze me constantly. It makes me sad to see you so down on yourself. My prayers are with you Drew. God bless you brother, find that courage!

December 20, 2007 at 4:46 PM
Anonymous said...

Be angry. It can almost be a positive, spurring you on when you'd otherwise want to give up. People tell a friend of mine he shouldn't be angry with what he hasn't gained back from his car accident; they that was he has achieved to date is miraculous.

Indeed, is a miracle he is walking, talking, aware of his surroundings, let alone having graudated from university and getting a good job. There will never be a "good enough" for him. He never wants to hit the ceiling and will keep fighting to what he can to gain back small things to improve his quality of life.

He continues to defy the expecations he's given. He had lots of trouble with fine motor skills/handwriting and the doctors told him he would never be able to write legibly, tie his shoes, button buttons, draw, etc. Five months after the accident he tied his shoes in front of his stunned neurologist. Seven years after the accident, although it's with difficulty, he has written many university essays longhand as a Communications Major.

Get angry, fight the beast.

December 24, 2007 at 2:55 AM

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