Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Inside of my own head!


This is choppy writing, I know

Sorry I have not written in awhile. I guess I am having a bad few days. You know I am happy about the breathing test and the balance improvement which is a direct effect of the stem cells-no doubt. But at the same time I think of the future and how it just might be bleak! I recently looked at a website- and saw the hope on the video page-people were video taped and they all had this amazing hope. I left a message on the guestbook and the chairman wrote back to me and said my inspiration should be spread and he invited me to attend the gala on september 20 with a guest. He lost his wife to my challenge. I am going to go hoping I could instill some hope to people that are having a bad few days! Know one has more of a positive attitude than I do-no one. But it seems to me, we are a long way off to find something that really helps-not just "prolongs life" and I do not know if I or other people have the time. The people on the video-some of them are gone and that scares the s%#t out of me. I have hope, I do and lots of it. But deep down I am fearful that it will not be in time. Don't get me wrong, I am fighting this with everything thing I have. By going to Physical Therapy and acupuncture 3 times a week and changing my diet and going to China and going to Yale twice a week and Columbia and taking 18 supplements a night and................

I am even enrolled in a clinical trial at Dartmouth University-so I am doing. I just hope it's enough. I have come to terms with what I have and the end result but I have NOT accepted it and I will not till I am healthy again. You know at church this weekend-at the end this woman whom I don't know tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Don't think I am crazy but these past two weeks God has drawn me to you(I am thinking she is nuts). But she says, "He wants me to tell you to challenge him for answers and DEMAND them from him". This lady has no idea what is going on with me at all. And as fast as she was there she was gone. I was speechless! Well I told my mom and she said maybe it's an angel(now I am thinking my mom is nuts). As I left church-I am thinking-I have been asking him for the answers of why. And he has never answered me yet. So I gave up asking recently and then this woman comes up and says that(now I am thinking I am nuts). But I surmised, it was him just reminding me to keep asking because the answer will come. I do not mean to get Holy on anyone but none of my doctors(and I have a ton of them) know the answer-so I will keep asking and waiting for an answer.

God, if your a reader of blogs-Why? On record I asked!
I will keep you posted on his answer.

My blog finally made it to the website. When you go on look on the right side-it says Drew's blog-also it is great info for stem cell research and what they are doing in china!

Talk Soon,
"Energy and persistence conquer all things".


Anonymous said...

Drew, you are amazing.. Stay strong! We are praying for you!

Mikey said...

I am so glad you commented on my BLOG, I just wanted to say thank you "on record." ;-)

Gina Kohr said...

You definitely are not nuts! You're an inspiration for everyone. Keep that positive attitude. You are destined for great things.
Gina (Santoro) Kohr

Anonymous said...

you are on your way to becoming one hell of a hero! ask and keep asking... and searching, we all will. i love the angel story-beautiful things are all around us so many people miss them... you just have your eyes and your heart open to them- congrats!
dayann russell and dean